Was laying at the feet of my Father last night at church. I wrote down what I felt Him say. Then the pastor preached on the same thing. I love it when He does that. This is what I wrote down.
The harvest is ready. There are people waiting to be plucked from sin. Right now I am working on the harvesters. If you are not trained to harvest a crop you can damage it. There are all different kinds of people so that mean I am training different kinds of harvesters. This is on the job training. I will use my shepherds to train you where you can train others. Make sure you learn from my shepherds and glean what is being taught. Read my word and stay close to me. I will direct you and show you the way.
At prayer meeting God took me to a place. He showed me His heart and showed me the heart of men. This is what I heard
My heart is pure. It always beats for my children. I want to pour into the vessels of my children. Many of the vessels are broken and will not hold what I have for them. This is one of the reasons people are in and out and cannot contain what I have for them. I want to fix and renew these vessels where I can dwell with in them. The earthen vessels will never be perfect. That is why I ask you to stay close and seek my way. Let me fix you and clean your vessel and mold it into what I want it to be. Let go of the things of the world that would tarnish you and keep me from consuming you.
The spirit moved strongly at church tonight. This is what I heard.
This is real. The spirit is real. The vines are growing and the fruit is making. Don’t stop keep moving deeper in me. I will change your heart and clean your mind. Keep coming don’t give up no matter what battle you’re fighting.
This is alive and not something man has built. Mankind are my candle sticks to light the way to me. I am the I am. The one and only living God. If it does not line up with my word then it is not of me.
I am fifty-four years old. My life has never been boring. I grew up in a Christian home. God and religion have always been a part of my life. I did not figure out the difference until I was older.
There was something else in our home. Mental illness became a part of my life as a child. My mother had an emotional break down when I was two years old. This event sent my family into a different place. This happen back in 1970 and at that time mental issues were not discussed especially in the Christian world.
In my world, mental illness became commonplace and the norm. I do understand things now and help my mother deal with issues that still haunt her. The way my dad handled it was not to be there. He worked a lot at either his job or the church. My mother tried to fit in and fought her demons alone most of the time.
Growing up being in church was my thing. I loved it and it was my safe place most of the time. At the age of four, a couple of things happened that changed my perception on things. First was I had a friend die in an outside fridge. One day he was there and next day he was gone. The second, I was carried into my dad’s church by a stranger and molested. That is when a spirit of fear was set in my life.
School was a stressful place for me; I had trouble fitting in with the other kids. Home had it set of issues but I felt safe. Now church time I loved. I connect early to the spirit of God. I believe that is the only thing that kept me safe through the troubled years.
In the teen years, life at home was different. My parents had their issues between each other. There was hardly any communication. Our home life started showing the dysfunction. My oldest sister was the caretaker, I was the lost child and my youngest sister was the clown.
Around the age of eighteen, I became fed up, I was not happy everything I tried did not work. As a teenager, I thought of death quite a bit. Looking back, I needed help and did not know how to ask. The only thing that kept me safe was the hand of God.
During this time, not everyone in my home was happy and our relationships with each other were stressed. God was no longer the center of our home. I used anger and rebellion to come out of myself. When my first love rejected me and I was hurt again, I gave up and quit trying to do right. I made decisions at this time that changed my life forever.
One of these decisions was I told God I tried it your way and it did not work now I am going to do it my way. This is when I started running full force into hell on earth.
We cannot change our childhoods or what has happened but through the healing hand of God, we can change how we feel and how we step into the next day.
The journey I took into hell lasted about twenty years. Through this time, I went through two marriages, had three boys and the death of my oldest son (he was murdered). In the dark years, God never left me and the prayers of my family help me reach the other side. The struggle was real.
A week before my son died. I was sitting in my living room and was praying to the Lord. I was trying to make my way back to Him. Thanksgiving weekend of 2004, a man broke into my home. There were seven of us in my apartment and that morning changed all of our lives. My oldest son lost his life protecting ours.
In the midst of the grief, I was lost even more. I never blamed God for what happen. The man that entered our home was the cause. I almost lost my life too but God chose me to stay.
We moved one more time. I found a church close to the apartments where we lived. They took us in and started helping us. My car broke down and they helped fix it. One day when I was walking home from work the voice of the Lord stopped me in my tracks. This is what He said, “you have two chooses. Stay here and live for yourself or go home and live for Me.” Home was Brazoria County.
I came back home and began my journey of healing and restoration. I was in and out of church and slowly building a relationship with my Father. Each time I gave something up; I became closer to my Father and His son. Now I stand here clean and free from my past. If He can do it for me, He can do it for you.
We are all on the journey of life; some of us are sill digging out of the junk piles that have buried us from choices we have made or a traumatic childhoods.
The mountain of the past looks big to us and makes us doubt ourselves and believe the lies of satan. Just remember the mountains will move away through one swipe of God’s hand when we truly lay it down at His feet. God only fixes us as quick as we let Him. I have learned now to just give it to Him and do not fight what He wants to do.
D.D.Parsons 